Bars At the Mall Of America

Listen, Christmas shopping is tough. I know. Believe me, I know. Other things that are tough include: regular shopping, walking, dealing with crowds, going into Build A Bear Workshop (hell, just walking past Build A Bear sends me straight to the bar), and not getting a drink for awhile.

So, since you’re stuck at the mall you may as well sneak away for a pint or two. And as luck would have it I’ve been to The Mall of America once or twice. I may or may not have had a beer.

Let’s do this floor by floor and side by side. Quick aside…the mall has 3 regular levels and one entertainment level. The fourth floor is mainly on the east side, with the movie theater on the south.


There we were lost. Lost beyond all hope. We would take a right turn only to find it was a dead end. So we would turn around, but we couldn’t find our way back. Occasionally we would walk down a seemingly never ending hallway only to run into another wall. We walked toward a distant family of four, but it turns out that beautiful, loving family was us! We were way past the point of desperation. And hunger, it had been minutes since lunch. Other families ran past us, some screaming.

What is this madness? Troy shouted.