Ruby Tuesday review

Okay, I want to start this post off by saying this was never meant to be a review. Actually, I never meant to go to Ruby Tuesdays. We went because Shellie had a gift card that was given to her and we figured what the hell. I mean, free food, right? I know it’s a chain, but it isn’t like it’s fast food or something.

And so we went. We went to Ruby Tuesday in Plymouth, MN. I’ve been to this chain before, and I’ve never been impressed. Honestly, I don’t know what the draw is. Is it a slightly fancier Applebees? No, seriously. Can someone explain it? Anyway, we went there on account of the gift card.

I want to get something out of the way before this starts. This isn’t going to be one of those reviews you read where you know the guy was pissed about something going in and there was nothing the place could do to change that. We’ve all read that review where someone rambles on about every little thing that goes even slightly wrong. So this isn’t that. I don’t really care one way or the other about Ruby Tuesday. And that’s as far as my feelings go for them.

The place was actually quite full, but we were seated right away. I looked over the beer menu, but didn’t see much of interest so I asked the server what they had on tap. I ordered the closest they had to a craft beer, Sam Adams Cold Snap. I’m kidding. I like Sam Adams well enough, but everything else they had was pretty much garbage. Shellie ordered a red wine. I went with the 20 ounce beer for only 99 cents more. The problem with that is, they don’t tell you the price of the other size. Or even what size the other size is.

When our drinks arrived and I took my first sip I knew there was something wrong. I’ve had Cold Snap before and it’s never tasted this horrible. It’s like this glass of beer was ordered and the barkeep poured it, but the guy who ordered it left. So instead of tossing it out this cheapskate bartender saved it. For like a week. The glass smelled, people. I think what actually happens is no one in Plymouth orders the Cold Snap at Ruby Tuesday so their lines are filthy and you get what you get.

While not enjoying my drink I looked over the menu. I wasn’t really sure what to get so it took me a while to decide. I don’t think this is Ruby Tuesday’s fault, I was just being picky or something. But their menu does seem to lean toward the heavy side of things. Anyway, we decided what to order. Finally. Shellie got the hickory bourbon salmon and I chose the asiago peppercorn sirloin. We both went with the garden bar.

The garden bar is a pretty basic salad bar. They have lettuce and spinach and a variety of vegetables to put on top. Their “ham” looks suspiciously like bologna, so I wasn’t touching that. They also have some pasta salads and stuff. I tried the potato salad that was bright yellow, but tasted of nothing. Shellie really likes the croutons, so that’s good. Right?

The thing is, probably not a very high percentage of people take them up on the salad bar. So why should they put out premium ingredients? I’m sure it’s been tested and I’m sure the bean counters know where the line is. There is a certain return on their investment that just wont show, no matter what they do. Most people just don’t go to the salad bar. The end.

Our server came by and dropped off a couple little biscuits. I ate one and decide it was a Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuit knockoff. But Shellie said they were better than that. They had an herb that brought them up a notch. (side note…neither of us can recall the last time we were at a Red Lobster)

After a while our entrees made their way to the table. Shellie dug right into her salmon and deemed it…horrible. She said it was so fishy. This, this is why I don’t like fish. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I probably love fish, just not shitty fish. And shitty fish is just what you get here. Yuck. I didn’t even try it. My steak was marginally better.

Some parts of the steak were actually pretty good. While others were tough as hell. The other thing is, this steak was about 4 inches across and one side was cooked a nice medium and the other was well done. So the meat wasn’t great. The asiago peppercorn sauce was actually pretty bland. I’m not sure what it tasted like. It was kind of just a salted roux. And my fries? Shut up. These were obviously frozen in a bag a couple minutes ago. They tasted like freezer burn smells.

I don’t think this was an anomaly, it seems like the times I’ve been to Ruby Tuesday the food has been like this. It’s kind of like Twinkies to me. Once in awhile I’ll try a Twinkie. Of course it’s gross and I vow to never have one again. Then a couple years later I’ll see one at a gas station or maybe in a vending machine, and I’ll think “hmm I haven’t had a Twinkie in awhile.” Then I buy it and guess what? Gross. Same deal here.

So, I’m actually a little hesitant to post this. Not because I’m afraid of the backlash or anything like that. It’s because, this isn’t a restaurant review site. This is a blog about Minnesota travel. Well, I guess if you travel to Plymouth, MN don’t go to Ruby Tuesday. How’s that?